What’s something you do completely differently from how you were raised?
When I was a little girl, it was often said that children should not speak unless spoken to. I took this literally and spent most of my childhood silent, unless spoken to. I never told my mom anything about me because I didn’t think she cared, she hardly ever listened and judged me heavily. Any mistake was met with brutal punishment and so I remained silent. Even through sexual assault, through bullying, I did not speak.
Why? What difference would this make? I know I would be blamed somehow or misunderstood. I was often miss understood when I did attempt to speak, or share how I felt, even describe something!
At one point I wondered if there was something wrong with how I spoke. I read book after book, wrote, sang songs, until one day my teacher noticed. She expressed interest in my reading and writing and I felt seen and heard.
She made me feel like a person, like I wasn’t completely worthless. I felt like I had a voice.
Now as a mother I raised my kids with so much love and understanding. I listen, I ask about how there day was everyday that they could speak to me. I validate their feelings and acknowledge when I may have been wrong or could have done something better. I give my children the opportunity to feel feelings without guilt.
Breaking the cycle…..